November 1, 1999 Wisconsin Woman Gives Birth to Onetuplet When Tammy Simpkins became pregnant last January, she knew she and her husband Brett would have their hands full nine months later. Friday morning they learned just how full their hands would be. The Kenosha couple came into Memorial Hospital childless Thursday, but they'll leave soon with one--count him--one bouncing baby boy. "We'd always wanted children, and we've been trying for so long," Brett said at a Friday news conference, "but even in our wildest dreams we never imagined we'd have a onetuplet. The good lord answered our prayers. We are truly, singly blessed." By having a single birth, the Simpkinses tie the record for the fewest children ever born to one woman in a successful pregnancy. The previous record, tied many times, was last set earlier Friday by thousands of other couples. Already, local businesses and companies around the country are pitching in to help the Simpkinses with their new baby bounty. Immediately after the press conference, a Kenosha contractor volunteered to build the happy couple a specially designed house complete with two bedrooms--one for the parents and one for each of their children, and a swingset in the backyard with a lone swing. Peg Perego, the fashionable stroller manufacturer, sent the Simpkinses a stroller with a single seat that was created specially for the occasion. And Pampers announced that it would provide the family with enough diapers for the whole gang for an entire month, a contribution of at least two jumbo packs. "The outpouring of support from everyone has just been incredible," Tammy Simpkins said. "When the doctor told me I was pregnant, I was thrilled. But then he said, 'That's not all' and told me I should sit down. When he said that we were going to have one baby, I nearly fainted." Tammy and Brett seem to be taking it all in stride. At the end of the press conference, Tammy was asked if she thought it would be hard with one baby to tell who was who. "Well, he's a lot smaller than my husband, so that should help," she said, drawing a laugh from the reporters gathered in the room. Parenting Headlines: Toddler Motorist Asks, "Are We There Yet?" Medicaid Cuts Funds for Imaginary Boo Boos. Petting Zoo Goat Strike Enters Second Month. Cap'n Crunch Demoted to Lieut't. WWF Report: Wild Things Nearly Extinct Barring a miracle, Maurice Sendak may have to retitle his classic children's story to Where the Wild Things Were. Wild Things, which once roamed the frustrated imaginings of countless children who had been sent to their rooms without their supper, have now been pushed to the brink of extinction. The culprit, says World Wildlife Fund Executive Director Pierre Laffitte, is mischievous Max himself. "Until Max visited where the Wild Things are," Laffitte says, "these noble beasts were unspoiled, innocent creatures who sat, ate, blew smoke through their noses and occasionally waded into the water. But ever since Max visited, and taught them his trick of staring into all their yellow eyes without blinking, they've changed. And not for the better." Now, according to WWF researchers, Wild Things have adopted odd, unproductive behaviors they apparently learned from their human interloper. "We've observed them howling at the moon, swinging through the trees and marching through the forest," Laffitte says dejectedly. "That's not normal Wild Thing behavior. It's more of a-what's the word? A rumpus." Since being placed on the WWF's endangered species list in 1996, populations of Wild Things have continued to decline. Efforts to breed them in captivity have also been unsuccessful. "We've tried almost everything and nothing has clicked," says Todd Egan, a Wild Thing handler at the San Diego Zoo, where Sendak donated four Wild Things last year. "Quite frankly, I'm not surprised. I mean, one looks like a chicken. One looks like a bull. And one looks like a cross between a dragon and Jim Carey." There's another reason Egan doubts Wild Things will ever be able to replenish their numbers. "If you look at them closely," he says, lowering his voice to a whisper, "you'll see they don't have any...well, they don't have any, um, private parts." Disney Acquires Robin Williams Walt Disney Pictures announced Wednesday that it had acquired actor Robin Williams for $358 million in cash and stock. "We believe our acquisition of Robin Williams enhances our brand and adds another brilliant star to our galaxy of entertainment properties, including Touchstone Films, ABC TV, ESPN and the Go.com network," Disney Chairman Michael Eisner said in a news release. "Through its work in Disney classics such as Flubber, Jumanji and Aladdin, Robin Williams has proven to be a valuable working partner and we look forward to bringing it in-house." Eisner did not disclose details of the acquisition except to say that under the terms of the sale, Williams is prohibited from growing a beard, playing any more doctors or "getting all thoughtful and sensitive." Williams is the first human being Disney has purchased since it bought Kurt Russell in 1972.   Local Child's Artwork Nothing Special Five-year-old Emma Zerwilliger gets plenty of praise for the crayon drawings she produces. Friends, teachers and grandparents all say they're great. Just don't try telling that to her mother. "To be honest, I just don't see it," says   Janet Zerwilliger, a homemaker in  Birchville. "Everybody's always telling  her, 'Oh, that's wonderful! What a pretty picture!' and on and on. Maybe it's just me, but I just don't see what all the fuss is about." To illustrate her point, mother Janet holds up a picture Emma drew last week. It's an impressionistic interpretation of a group of animals, in different Crayola hues of carnation pink, thistle and periwinkle. "When she finished it, I asked her what it was," Janet says, "and she said it was a turtle, an elephant and a giraffe. I was like, 'Yeah, right. I've seen lots of pink turtles.' I'm sorry, but they just don't look anything like the real animals to me. I mean, the giraffe is shorter than the elephant. Give me a break." Emma Zerwilliger could not be reached for comment.   President Declares Elmwood Boy Physically Unfit In a Rose Garden ceremony Tuesday, President Clinton presented the President's Award for Physical Unfitness to Elmwood fifth-grader Mortimer Jessup. Dressed in baggy, below-the-knee shorts and an oversized t-shirt, Jessup, who stands four feet tall and weighs 236 pounds, smiled proudly and gulped down handfuls of M&M's throughout the event. "Mort, you are an example to all Americans of what can happen if you avoid exercise, eat Cheetos and play computer games all day, every day," Clinton told the youth as he handed him the award. Jessup, sweating profusely in the 65 degree heat, accepted the award and immediately had to sit down. At the conclusion of the ceremony, in a gesture of support, Clinton put his arm around the boy and whispered " trade ya a night in the Lincoln Bedroom for that Mars bar." "Or those Twinkies under your seat," the President added. ®1999 Oliebollen LLC All rights reserved.